& I don't like myself

One thing I hate about summer is it gives me too much time to think. Which therefore leaves alot of emo posts, since well... let's just say I don't see myself as a good person.

I wish I could just run, you know? I don't want a location. Just some place where I can see the stars at night. I want to feel the breeze in my face as I dash away from everything that I want to leave behind. This confusion which seems to plague me at every turn I make. Maybe if I run fast enough, it won't follow me anymore.

I want to lay in the tall grass on a beautiful clear night, and look and the stars. And stop thinking.
I think I should tell you, as I have just realized it: I'm not a very trusting person. I don't tell people the things that really bother me, at least anymore. I think I'm scared to let it out, because I know the people who are my friends know things that I don't. They know the story that I want to know, and it drives me insane with confusion not to know. But they know more than I ever will. And when you find out, or you get hints about that story, you piece it together yourself. You may be wrong, but all you know is that they know and you don't. You want to throw up, and you want to just... run.

I wish I could fly too.

I would just levitate up, and away I'd go. I'd fly around the world, with the wind & the birds as my only companions. And as the sun would set, I'd watch it fall as the wind blows behind me. I'd be safe for once. Safe from myself, and safe from everyone else.

I wish I was numb when it came to liking people.

Then I just wouldn't. None of the bullcrap that I'm wishing right now would be null and void. Well, maybe I'd still wish for them, but I'd have different reasons.

Someone just tell me what's going on. Before I start telling myself what is. And that's never pretty. Believe me.