Don't stop believing~

"No one deserves me." She says it with upmost certainty - as if the words could block bullets and remain unscathed in a nuclear bombing. "No one ever will." Her face is blank, yet her eyes are cold, almost sad.

"Why does no one deserve you?" He asked. It was better than asking what he was thinking; "Why don't I deserve you?"

"Because." She breathed in. The calm before the storm. And what a storm came.

"No one deserves me because I deserve no one. It's the facts of my life. I always love the things I shouldn't, and love them in ways that no other human being could possibly understand and love in return. Don't say it's not true. Because it is. And I'm sick of people telling me it's not.

"I'm not some goddamn princess. I'm just the dumb girl who reads too many books and who can't say anything right. I'm never going to fall into the stupid messes I make. Just clean them up and move on. That's all I've learned. No one's been worth it for me to change."

Her gaze is transfixed on the ground. She can't look at him anymore. This is dumb, stupid, every single bad word she can think of forms in her brain as to describe this situation. She saw it coming in the back of her mind; a delusional dream that made her paranoid, made her watch her back. Why did it come down to this?

He straightened. His tone completely serious: "Now listen to me. I won't repeat myself, so listen good."

"Look at me." She didn't want to. No, she just couldn't. She knew what she'd do if she did.

"Look. At. Me." The sterness in his voice made her look up slightly, as tears were welling up in her eyes. Here comes the rain. She hated crying. She looked terrible when she cried.

"I know you don't like figuring people out. But I think I've just got about figuring you out.

"You really want to be loved. But your scared. Your so scared, you build up a wall and hope someone will try to climb over it. And when they do, you start to scream. Because your stuck in some bubble. You think that no one can. So you run away. And the problem is, no boy has been smart enough to try and chase you. Dumb fools if you asked me.

"Because I swear to... I don't know, I swear too whatever the hell you want me to, that I will run after you. I've climbed that wall, and I'll run after you, I'll do everything I have to if it gives me one chance with you. Because you are worth it.

"Stop thinking that you aren't because you are. Now don't start up again with all this bull shit. I just want one thing answered. I just need one word. One word and I'll take of running after you anyways. Answer this: Do you feel anything for me?"

She's crying now. Oh how she hates crying. She doesn't know whether the tears are of happiness or sadness, maybe its both. She doesn't care anymore. Let him see me ugly, she thought.

"Yes. And that's why I have to push you away. Because I feel the same, that's why I have to push you away."

She wipes her tears with her sleeve. I want to melt into the ground, she thinks. I wish I could become invisible. I want to run.

"Well I haven't left yet." He noted. "Are you going to run or stay?"