I'm going to leave you.
I'm sorry, but I'm going to leave you
And I'm going to make you cry.
Because I love you.
And I don't want to.
You don't know me.
I hate feeling this way. I hate it
the feeling I get when your not there
it tears me apart and I can't take it anymore.
I can't take feeling weak.
I can't take feeling so alone.

Guess what you fucking dumbass?
I hate walking home by myself.
If you had any brains, you should've walked me home
even when I wanted to push you away.
You should of forgone them and...
God, I hate that. I hate how they just want to go do...

... do this all the time.
I love them so much but now...
it scares me. And your not helping.
I swear to god if I find out you did...
I will feel no remorse in leaving you.
It will all be gone, and I will just leave.

I hate this. I hate you for making this way.
For making me love you.
Your the first person I've ever been in love with, you know?
But I can't do this.
I can't be in love because it scares me
And I'm never going to get over it.
Because I don't want to be in love.
A lot of the times I wish I wasn't even alive,
What would make me want to be in love?
I should of died that night, not him.
He had so much more to live for.
While I...

I should have never let you in,

Leave me alone I'm so done with this.
I'm so. done.
I don't want to leave you but I am.
I'm so sorry.

Laying in bed talking about thing from Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy to cats.
My night in a nutshell.

Wo Ai Ta

I don't know how long this can last.
I'm just waiting for him to get tired of me and leave.
I don't know how to believe him
when he says he loves me.
How can I believe something like that?
That someone.
Loves.
Me?

Inconceivable.

He can't love me.
Because I love him.
I love the color of his eyes.
I love his sheepish smiles.
Wo Ai Ta.

No one I love could possibly love me back.

One more day here.

DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK. DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK. DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK. DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK. DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK. DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK. DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK. DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK. DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK. DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK. DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK. DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK. DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK. DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK. DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK. DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK.

I miss people but.
I don't want to see you.
I don't know what I'll do.

I'm safe here. I can get over it fine here.
There, he's everywhere.
I don't want to be broken again.

standing still

Last night I dreamed he was there.
I went up to him and he hugged me.
And he told me missed me and loved me.

I don't remember the rest of the dream. I just remember he was there.
But then I woke up.
Now he's in my dreams too. Get out of my head.

I come here when I want to talk about things I don't want anyone else to read.

I miss him.
I really miss him

And that's why I should probably let him go.

my friend says she doesn't wants to be forever alone.

I want to be forever alone.

I'm so scared.

I don't want to feel. I wish I didn't feel anything.

Make this feeling go away. Please.

I don't want to be this weak.

That's it. Starting today.

I need to push him away. For everyone's sake.

If everything goes through.

This is the start of the worst goodbye ever.

I have to though.

hm.

I'm terrible at expressing how I feel. To anyone.

But there's this boy.

He is the dorkiest person I've ever met.
He can't sing to save his life.
He says stupid things all the time.
He teases me constantly.

And I constantly say terrible things to him, and smack him.

But for some reason, he likes me.

He says I'm smart. I'm funny. and I'm pretty.

I don't know how to believe him.
I don't know why.
I'm always so mean to him.

I always say how I hate him.
I wish I could say what I really feel.

Like how his eyes are such a pretty color.
And I think it's adorable when his hair is in disarray.
That I love the sound of his laugh.
That I don't understand why he's so nice to me
Or why he even puts up with me at all.
That I play Frank Turner over and over again because it reminds me of him
That I was upset to lose his ring because it made me feel better.
That I love the uglydoll because he bought it for me.

I guess I'm just scared that he doesn't really feel the same
That he'll just break my heart.
That he's just telling me sweet lies.
I'm scared of feeling what I feel.
I don't know what to do.