Jealousy e_e

Halloween is tomorrow. YAY.

Just going to address some drama (let's get some popcorn!). Not involving me in any shape or form, but I like to say what I think.

Jealousy.

It's such an ugly emotion, but it's everywhere. Sure okay. If the guy you like is in love with some other girl, yeah you can be jealous. If it's fleeting, I understand.

But... honestly, it's annoying when people don't get over it. We say mean things in our jealousy, and it sucks.

I'll admit. I get jealous. Especially right now. But I don't let it get to my head.

I mean. I understand it. But really. Does it MATTER? We get what we get. It's a luck of the draw. Don't go around bitching about what your given. Life could be a whole lot worse.

... I could continue, but I keep getting side tracked. XD bue all! :D

Ave freaking Maria!

Ave Maria is love. Darn you Profe, I'M GOING TO TURN INTO A TRUMPET. NOOOOOOOOOO. XDDDD.

Seriously, it's SO catchyyy. Spanish music is the best. They have very catchy songs. xP

So what's up with me? Nothing much... 7 DAYS TIL THE ELECTION. WOOOAHHHHH O-O. New president? Holeeey.... e___e;

Dobby Tsui: I've seen her before and you're way cuter!
Me: It's your JOB to say that. You're my best friend. XD

Risu: You and Ben P make the cutest father - daughter pair!
Me: e___e;

I have weird friends. Quite a few of them thing I'm adorable / cute / pretty/ one of those adjectives that implies I am attractive.

More like adorkable. :P

Besides, looks don't have to do with anything. All my friends got the boy and they think they're only "average" (which they are NOT. They are beautiful people who their boyfriends should idolize. :D ) and I'm left there going... "... what happened to single forever guys...?" XD;

Oh well.

... AVE MARIA.

Yo soy fuel. There's only one guy I can picture myself with. And it makes me sick.
... There are so many things I need to talk about that, but it just never feels right.

... AVE MARIA!

READY, START.

So. Physics test tomorrow. Wish me luck! I'm going to need it. I sort of get the concepts, but not enough for me to be not nervous about the test x__x;

Swim meet and studying. That's all that's really been going on round here lately. I should have something interesting to rant about after 4 days of absence, but you know. I'm lame like that. :B

Life's just been... you know. Life. Not really anything interesting, you know.

Everyone's in their bubble of LOVEEE and I'm just kind of sitting there watching. It's kind of like I'm at home watching TV and I'm screaming at the TV. Because even though I see all (and practically know all... Notreally) I can't tell them. "Dude. You know this freaking fails right?"

Because they just don't GET IT! It's hilariously irritating! >_<;

... Yeah. Nothing more to say. Sorry. >:

OH NOES COLLEGE?!

Uh. I'm really really gunna be busy this week til Monday, so sorry for not updating. Just a small one, cause I don't feel like studying DMV stuff or Physics stuff. Or Chem Stuff. Or Apush stuff.

And I don't really want to talk about my OTHER problems, so I'll just talk about college. Since I went to a college fair today. Here's a list of colleges that I show some interest in;

- Columbia University ( NYC, NY )
- Dartmouth ( Hanover, NH )
- UC : Berkeley ( Berkeley, CA )
- UC : San Diego ( San Diego, CA)
- University of Oklahoma ( Norman, OK )
- University of Oregon ( Eugene, OR )
- University of Pennsylvannia ( Philadelphia, PA )
- University of Southern California ( Los Angeles, CA )
- University of Washington ( Seattle, WA )
- University of Wyoming ( Laramie, WY )
- Washington State University ( Pullman, WA )

This list might change over time, but atm, this is my prelims. (Not THAT old yet!)

See y'all soon~

GG GREENBELT.

Aang is too adorable for Katara. Katara needs someone manly. and Aang just doesn't cut it.

Went to the green belt with Risu, Ben, Tony, Jess & Dobby Tsui. Loads of fun, as usuallllll <3

Life's been confusing, but I'm alive. Things will turn out okay. I hope :E

Appearance
I'm in middle school
I'm in high school
Hell, I'm in college
I have brown hair
I have blonde hair
I have red hair
I have black hair
I have highlights
I dyed my hair
And it's a color that wasn't listed.
I have blue eyes
I have brown eyes
I have hazel eyes
I have green eyes
I have different color eyes
I wear braces
I don't wear braces
But I should have them
I wear glasses
Nope, I wear contacts
And they're WAY better than glasses
I'm underweight
I'm okay
I'm average, but others think I'm fat
Nah, they're right. I'm pretty fat
Or maybe I'm Obese
I'm 13
I'm 14
I'm 15
I'm 16
I'm 17
I'm 18
Psh, I'm older than 18
Or I'm younger than 13
I look older than my age
I look younger than my age

Family
My parents are still together
My parents are divorced
My parents are...something
I hate my parents
Eh, my parents are okay
For the most part, I get along with them.
Ha, I LOVE THEM.
I have siblings.
I have an older/younger sister
I have an older/younger brother
My siblings are annoying sometimes
But they're cool.
Actually, no, I hate them too.
I have a pet
It lives in the water
Or it chews up my shoes
Or it scratches everything up
Or I just have a wonderful pet

Friends
I rather one best friend than a crowd of friends.
Are you kidding? The more the better!
I have gone to my friends for advice
My friends and I have the craziest time when we hang out
No, they're pretty boring.
I need new friends
One of my friends tried to steal my boyfriend.
Well, he wasn't my boyfriend, but i wanted him! aswell
It ruined our friendship
One of my friends stabbed me in the back
And i didn't even do anything
That ruined our friendship too.
I rather be honest with my friends
Well, for the most part.
Like, when they ask how they look and they look really bad, I lie
I lie to them all the time
Sometimes we get in stupid fights
But we made up
I have more than one best friend

Yourself (Personality)
I'm really outgoing- when with my friends
No, I'm really shy
I'm somewhere in the middle.
I'm really emotional
When I get angry, you should leave me alone
I get in a lot of fights
I'm sad all the time
I'm pretty happy, actually.
Eh, shit happens. I'm somewhere in the middle.
I LOVE to party
I also love to hang out with guys
And try to get them
My favorite color is pink
No, my favorite color is blue
I like black and white.
The hell with those colors.
I like all the colors.
I love being outdoors on a nice day
I love being out in the rain
I love jumping in puddles.
Uhhhh...puddle jumping? Wasn't that so when we were little?
I hate people who think they're better than everyone else
Yeah, I'm one of those people who treat others like shit
If I treat others like shit, it better be a good reason.
I love getting out of the house and drive around town
I love everything!
Psh, loving everything is an overstatement
And hating everything is an understatement
I love bunnies!
I like food
I love music

School
I think school is okay
Are you kidding me? It sucks
I love school
Eh, I'm only there to be with my friends
The lunches at my school suck too, actually
I'm late to class sometimes
I like most of my teachers
No, I hate them
I'm the trouble maker in the class
I actually care about my education so i can get out of high school
My teachers hate me
Actually, there's no such thing as a teacher hating you
They LOVE me
I hate science. I suck at it.
The same with English
And math
Actually, I do horrible in school all together
I appreciate my art/music classes
I'm one of those idiots who just fool around in those classes and fail them
I got a detention for a good reason
A GOOD REASON? MORE LIKE A REALLY PATHETIC REASON
I got susppensed
I got expelled
I'm a good kid
I get good grades
I get okay grades
I just suck
I skip my classes sometimes
No, most of the time
I'm a goody two shoes, so I wouldn't. mah tbh i don't see the point

Relationships/Guys
I never had a boyfriend
I only had one boyfriend
Are you kidding? I had MANY more than that
My relationship with guys never last long
I usually break up with them
Sorry, I'm usually the one getting dumped
And it hurts
I've had a relationship last at least 6 months.
It lasted a year
It lasted MORE than that
Actually, I'm in a relationship right now
And we're been together for a long time
Immature guys turn me OFF
The hot looking guys turn me on
Looks don't matter; it's their personality that counts.
I like personality, but hell, if that guy is hot looking too, then I'm really lucky.
I've been rejected by a crush
And that hurts more than being dumped
My crush doesn't even know that i like him!
I'm a sucker for the eyes
Especially blue ones
I still talk to my ex-boyfriends
Psh, I don't talk to any of them.
I've gotten back together with an ex
But of course, it didn't work out
I still want to be with my ex
I've been in love
I still AM in love
Psh, love is for the stupid romantics
I've cheated on my guy
My guy cheated on me
And I almost killed him when i found out
I've made out with a guy
And he wasn't my boyfriend
I'm a virgin

Music(I listen to...)
30 seconds to mars
Acceptance
Hellogoodbye
Carrie Underwood
Keith Urban
Chris Daughtry
Goo Goo Dolls
Avril Lavigne
Pink
The Fray
Cute is what we aim for
From First to Last
The Academy is
Anti- Flag
The Police
Madonna
Justin Timberlake
The Sex Pistols
Bad Religion
Blink 182
Flogging Molly
My Chemical Romance
David Matthews
Fall Out Boy
Brand New
The Used
Panic! At the disco
Britney Spears
Beyonce
Michael Jackson
Janet Jackson
Fleetwood Mac
Sean Paul
Snoop Dog
James Blunt
Coldplay
The automatic
Black Sabbath
Deep Purple
NOFX
Queen
Van Halen
Metallica
Cradle of Flith
Dream Threater
Johnny Cash
Dixie Chicks

Random
I've played strip poker before
I've been in a car accident before
I failed my car license the first time i took it
I cut myself
I used to cut myself
I'm stopping the habit of cutting myself
Cutters are freaks
I've hooked up with a stranger before
I've seen someone die
I have an eating disorder
I had one, but I'm giving it up and eating healthy
I have my own style when it comes to clothing
I love candy
I over eat sometimes
I get bored easily
I get amused easily
I love to write
I love reading
I failed a class
I ALMOST failed a class, but luckily, I passed it.
I've swore at a teacher before
I've swore at my parents before
I got angry and dented the car
By hitting a telephone pole
By hitting other car
I've been in a fist fight before
And I won it
My dad watches weird movies
And it scares me a little bit
Hell, I love watching weird movies WITH my dad
I've thrown a snowball at someone before
And hit them
I'm anti-social sometimes
I love wearing jewelry
I love drawing
I love drawing during a class i absolutely hate
My best friend owns a dog
I don't have my own car.
Instead, I end up driving my parent's.
This survey was really long
But it was really amusing
And it wasted my time

Hay guys :D

<-- Such a cute icon... <3. I love gummy bears they are yummy.

So you know how they say that if you love, you receive love in return? I used to think that wasn't true.

Now I think I understand. You do receive love; maybe just not in the way you want it. I've also learned I give out alot of it. You'd be surprised how many people I consider I "love" right now. And how many of them are boys for that matter. Sure, mostly platonically, but I do really care for them. (In fact two of them, I have cried over because they were so depressed and it was making me sad too xD).

And really, for once I feel pretty content this year. Before... the whole Boots fiasco. Which still hasn't been really fixed, but that's okay. Rome was not built in a day, and this friendship will take many weeks to fix.

I'm still unsure what I feel for him. I should hate his guts, but I don't. I still... love him, in a sense. I don't know how to explain it, but it's like... as long as he's happy, I don't really mind. Everything's pretty good.

Lately, I really don't have anyone to tell what's on my mind. Because... well, I feel sort of intrusive. Everyone's in this bubble of loveeee and happinessss and... I don't feel like I should be interrupting. Like Dobby Tsui and Yang. They're both some of my bestest friends, but sometimes, I just don't know how to say what I'm feeling. Dobby Tsui got her first boyfriend... so how can I bother her with this drama? And Yang's got one, so I don't know how to talk to him about it either.

Oh well. I'll figure it out soon enough.

So if I compliment you, I mean it. I do not joke around about compliments. And when I say "I love you", I mean it.

I love you guys <3.

STAK TREK IS BACK! >D

OH MY GAWD. Article in EW & new stills for the new Star Trek Movie?! I screamed like a little girl when I saw Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto on the front cover. Still, it upsets me how they postponed it til next year ;A;. It was supposed to come out in December, dammit! WHO CARES ABOUT TWILIGHT. I WANT STAR TREK D<

... Watchmen & The Spirit are also movies I look forward tooooo <3. Sure, I've never read these series, but OH MY GOD. Their stuff is FREAKING LEGENDARY. What would the world be like without these geniuses?! IT WOULD BE LAME I SAY. LAMITY LAME LAME. D<

I AM SO NOT NERDY. AT ALL.

Anyways, Some of the cast for the Star Trek movie is very interesting. John Cho as Sulu made me lol. Eric Bana as the bad guy though.... OH YES. THAT GUY LOOKS SO DIABOLICAL IT'S AMAZING Dx.

Still Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine are probably the two actors who I am really surprised / psyched for. Quinto is AMAZING as Sylar on Heroes; and when they were first talking about the new Star Trek movie & he was suggested, it sealed the deal. He's going to be awesome, with his pointy ears and bowl cut :D

Chris Pine. Is. HOT. I always loved William Shatner as Kirk, so Pine better do a DAMN good job, or I'll have to eat up his brain. I also look forward to Scotty & McCoy. Mostly Scotty, because Scotty had the BEST ACCENT EVER in the original series. McCoy always sort of annoyed me, but he'd be interesting... :3

But nothing can beat the crappy effects that made me LOL while watching the series, and the sometimes laughable acting and the music. Even if it's really cheesy, I have a special place in my heart for Star Trek. I'm not a big Trekkie, but I still CAN name a few episodes from the top of my head... XD

Also; THE NEW TWILIGHT TRAILER. It's pretty good~. I still want Emily Browning to play Bella though.... -sigh-

Um, so how's my life right now?

I guess I'm living one day at a time... I'm not really thinking about it right now. Maybe later... XD
LIVE LONG AND PROSPER! XD.

... shutupyoudbethesamewithmyfamily... XD

I know you...

Because I know I won't be able to update later today cause of swim practice and studying, I'm gunna update nao. :D

<-- Hee hee, it's Haruhi. Good series, but Kyon was an annoying little bugger. >:. Itsuki rockedddd.

I wonder how many people realize how beautiful our world is. And how many people it's just passed by. How many people have danced in the rain, watched the clouds roll by, paint pictures in the sky, watched the bugs crawl, walk barefoot in the grass, smell the sweet roses...

Earth has given us so much to love. But some of us don't look beyond our work space, look beyond. Everything is so beautiful in it's own way, and it seems we all seem to forget that.

I wish I was out farther from the city. Like back in Idaho, where the sky was COVERED with so many stars it took your breath away.

I guess I'm just different. In my own special weird way.

... I would like a dress like the one Briar Rose wears in Sleeping Beauty, before she becomes a princess. It's so simple and elegant D: <3

YAY SALES.

So I spent most of the day studying. Got 3 pairs of pants today. Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren pants, both pairs less than 30 BUCKS? WOAH DANG. YAY FOR CLEARANCE @ MARSHALLS. 8D.

Really, I'm pretty content right now. Friday... well I just decided I didn't care. I mean I didn't tell myself I didn't, I just decided "WHEE I'M HAVING TOO MUCH FUN I DUN CARE ANYMOARRR"

... Yes. Exactly like that.

I'm not other girls, okay? I can get really really emotional, then poof. It's gone, just like that. Funny huh?

I mean, I'm the girl who has strange... thoughts... about getting my schools two drum majors together. And their both guys.

...... BOOTS IS THE SEME AND BEN IS THE UKE. >D

CUP SIZE Z LOLOL.

Oh mah god. I had so much fun today & yesterday. I laughed so hard and I smiled so much, I think my face is starting to hurt. XD

So today is homecoming... o-o;. And I'm at home. Drinking Snapple. And looking up Zutara pictures. So atypical for me :P.

Yesterday was the HC Football game. It was soooo intense; we won 20-16, barely edging it out at the end. FIRST HC GAME WE EVER WON. HELLZ YES. But really, most of the time we were bothering the band or playing pictionary on ASP's DS. BEST GAME EVER. SIZE Z BRA SIZEEE xD. Best Statue of Liberty Ever. I CAN'T DRAW TO SAVE MY LIEF. 8D

Fireworks were beautiful and Boots' parents were there. HE HAS THE CUTEST LITTLE BROTHERS EVER. OH MY GOD. I HOPE THEY DON'T TURN OUT AS UGLY AS THEIR OLDER BROTHER.

... jk Boots. jk. :<

Hot Topic stuff was the best. I WANT A TRENCHCOAT D:. Ben P looked like one of those... what's it called. Those murderer people in the animes. Yeh. :D And we put a suit on his too. :D He looked SMASHING. :D Me: I'll try on a suit if you as Risu to prom. Ben P:... WILL YOU GO TO PROM WITH ME RISU. Risu: Sure. Ben P: NOW LETS GET YOU A SUIT. Me:... XD Ah, life is gooodddd. Minus all the crap outside of mah life, Things are pretty good right now <3.>

But who watches the watchmen?

I'm such a fool. I still can't stop tearbending about it. So weak, so stupid, so freaking stupid. And the sad thing is I can't even think ill of it. Him. I can't hate him. This silence is driving my heart to nothing. I should try and strike up some sort of... I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Why do we like to hurt so much?

And now whoever wants to can read this thing. I don't give a damn anymore. <3

ZUTARAAAAA :D

I chose this icon because Zutara has been one of the few things that have kept me from going completely insane. The LJ community has given me things to laugh at and to keep my tearbending (LOL) at bay. I almost started tearbending during Spanish. And I was tearbending Monday night, and during Physics. Man, I've become almost as good at tearbending as Zuko is in Firebending! :D

... Ahem. Yes. I'm so still not obsessed with Avatar. ^^.

I still don't really want to discuss what is up. But I am really happy for the people involved. I really am. But sometimes another's happiness makes another's misery.

It's not like I don't want to talk to him. I'm just afraid if he does, I'm going to end up tearbending AGAIN and it's going to make him feel bad. It's really not his fault... I'm just a stupid girl who likes a stupid boy who just got a girlfriend. ._.;

I NEED A DISNEY MARATHON TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER! D:. Or Casablanca, The Roman Holiday... I really want to watch The Roman Holiday. Audrey Hepburn is SO goregeous, and she was an amazing person. I would have loved to go back in time and meet her <3.

So yeh, you guys can probably guess who it is. I liked him too much and I got burned. I know the drill. Because I don't usually like more than one guy at a time. >->;.

Sigh. It's annoying how all my friends want me to talk to him and stuff.
Chicago: "You should talk to him. Or else he'll get hurt..."
Me: "LOL, I care WHY? :D"

... I am SUCH a Bitch <3. Chicago was trying to say I wasn't, but he failed miserably.

Oh man Zutara is so beautiful. DAMN YOU BRYKE AND YOUR INABILITY TO TELL AN EPIC STORY Dx.

Talk later maybe. :3

I. Don't really want to talk right now. I know if I do, I'm going to start crying again, and I'm going to hate myself / want to disappear even more. Just know I'm an idiot and there's no way in all of hell am I going to Home coming this year. No matter how much you pay me. If I did, I think I just might die. Even more than I am right now. If you ask, you'll probably get my whole huge mess of me. And that's wonderful, isn't it. :[

Spiffyyy

<-- Doesn't it look spiffy? Hah, I decided this stuff is cool, because I have 53.4 MB of icons, I might as well show them to the world. I'm such an icon whore... >->; Ahaha.

So yesterday, was the band tourney. The felt really good even though everyone was really pissy about it. I loved it. Mira Mesa's show was amazing and WV Gold did super special awesome as usual... <3.

Also, my swim meet. 1:01:98 in the 100 free & 28.85 in the 50 free.WOOOOTTTTTT. 1 step closer to breaking a minute! And I broke 30 seconds in the 50 free! YESSS.

Lol to Salem singing Love Story and getting it stuck in Dana, Shuchi, and my head. It's still in there... XD... And the facebook pic thing. HAH, ridiculous stuff. XD

You know. Alot of people have been asked out to Homecoming. Honestly, I sort of want to go. I know, I said I wouldn't, but I'm curious how all this HC drama will come to a close. Maybe it'll be like a manga! Like some guys will start duking it out over a girl and the police will come and things will go BOOM and random couples will hook up, and it will be EPIC.

Hey. I can dream. Like I can dream about seeing Boots in a tux. Heh heh. Oh the blackmail. <3>

WARNING. EMO POST AHEAD.

Song of the post:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaved-rGoq8
Gotta Be Somebody by Nickelback

Responding to Jen & Tori's blog (sort of);

I'm so happy for Tori. I mean seriously, I am actually quite tolerant of Matt (compared to the other trumpets... aha.) and she's an amazing person. TOOK them long enough to notice her. D: <3,Why am I so unlovable? Am I going to be left all alone, and die unloved?

I know. I'm so selfish for wanting someone to... well care. But I can't help it. I've read too many books, watched too many movies where girl meets boy and they find love.

When is going to be my turn? I'm tired of being left like this, barely hanging on to the hope that there might be someone for me somewhere in this whole entire world. I want a sign or something. That someone DOES care. In a non friend way.

Ugh. I hate you so much, Boots. I know I shouldn't, but you brought up these thoughts once again. I mean, I almost cried myself to sleep last night because something in my brain kept telling me this...

I want to believe. I really do. But seeing everything change so quickly, I don't have time to get back up on my feet.

Ugh. I totally lied to him. I said I had nothing to say. I have so much to say. How it's breaking my heart that he still exists in my brain, makes me feel like such a burden to him. I can't stand it. The fact I'm such a burden he needs to lie... and he feels the need to try to get me to talk to him.

It's tearing my heart apart. I don't know anymore. I just wish he'd go try to be that girl's prince charming; go wake the sleeping princess and ride off into the sunset. Leave me out of your story. You have no idea what it's like.

Go tell her. God, it makes me so freaking pissed, you know? Time is just going to pass them by, and the only thing they'll get is sadness. I know so many girls who would kill to have him call them his. Maybe that girl is the same. But he just. Doesn't GET IT.

Go save your princess. Rue has no purpose in this version of Princess Tutu.