Delicious Ambiguity: September 2008

9/30/08

Tacos :O

Pretty much the only bright spot in my life atm is the Daily show. So I leave you with a survey, and this quote;

"Well how powerful is a hydrogen bomb? Lets put it in terms of tacos..."

The Love Survey
Made by: imakesurveysfosho
(Lol, THIS is going to be good... XD)

The Basics
1. Are you single or in a relationship? Single :O
2. For how long have you been single/taken? Forever. xD
3. Do you like your current relationship status? I guess so.
4. Why or Why Not? Well, I guess I want a relationship, but I can live with being single forever ._.
5. Are you in love? ... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
6. Have you ever been in love? I honestly don't know anymore.
7. What do you think real love feels like? Like a Disney movie.
8. Do you have a crush right now? I'm not really sure actually.
9. Who is he/she? Some idiot. As usual :D
10. Do you like boys or girls? I like waffles. :D.

The Single Life
11. Are you single? Yeh.
12. Do you like being single? I guess so.
13. What is the best part of not being in a relationship? ... That I get to laze around the house and do nothing?
14. Do you love flirting? I don't know how to / what it is.
15. Are you happier when you're single? Sure?
16. Have you been single for too long? ... I guess 16 years is a pretty long time... ._.;
17. Do you go to clubs? ... like the golf kind?
18. When you're single, do you make-out with every guy/girl possible? ... BWAHAHAA.
19. Have you ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend? No. EPIC WIN.
20. What was the reason for you two to break-up?

The Relationship Life
21. Are you currently taken? Nope <3
22. What is your favorite part of being in a relationship? I'd never know. But I'd suppose it gives you someone to harass for no real reason other than just cause you want to :3
23. If you are not in a relationship right now, who was your last partner? Dobby Tsui was my last LAB partner... XD
24. How was that relationship? Dobby Tsui = bestest friend ever.
25. What's your favorite thing to do with your partner?(not sexually): ... be goofy.
26. Are you a cuddler? ... I never understood the difference b/w hugging and cuddling.
27. What was the best relationship you've ever been in?
28. How about the worse?
29. Have you gone very far with a boy/girl while being in a relationship? .... Ahahahaha XD
30. Do you love having a boyfriend/girlfriend? I like pancakes. :D

The Sex Life
[404 AIR OR. SECTION NOT FOUND BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW HOSHI IS INCOMPENTANT AT ANSWERING THESE QUESTIONS]

The Perfect Guy/Girl
41. What color eyes would you like he/she to have? He just needs pretty eyes :D
42. Should he/she have a certain clothing style? ... what is this "style" you speak of?
43. Would you rather have him/her to be caring or respectful? Both. :D
44. Would you like him/her to drink/smoke? I'd rather litter. Sorta.
45. Is sex important to him/her? ... 404 AIR OR.
46. Should he/she be the complete opposite of you, or just alike? Alike in some ways but opposite just enough so we could argue over stupid things :D
47. Would you like him/her to have tatoos/peircings? Not really?
48. How many times a day should he/she call you? ... I dunno. Once?
49. Should he/she be clingy, or give you freedom? In the middle?
50. Would you like him/her to be the jealous type? Not really... ._.;

9/29/08

<3

In response to Tori's post; I know how you feel.
I'd also like to be asked out to dances for the sake of me, or have a boyfriend. I'd like to be the one that turns heads in the crowd, but sometimes I can't bring myself to shout. I'd like my mother to give me an actual COMPLIMENT; not more criticism of everything I do & just give me more things to think about. I'd like to see the world, but I know there are things I need to deal with at home. I want amazing grades, but I just don't. I want people to say I can sing well, but I of all people know I can't. I want a dog, but I know I can't get one until I have the time. And there's so much to think about in the future, I just want to scream.

Sometimes, it really makes me want to break down into tears. That was freshman year.

I mean, it's not like I've changed alot. I've just decided I want to be happy.

Most of my guy friends just see me as one of the guys. I don't blame, I kind of am in a way. Sometimes they treat me like a girl, most of the times they don't. But I've decided no one's opinion matters but mine. That may sound really selfish, but hey. It's so much easier to be happy that way.

Another thing that finally hit me. I don't think I ever liked Boots.

I had hope that I'd be able to, that he'd be someone I could give my heart to, or earn a place in the "guys I'll luffle forever and forever."

Well. We know how that turned out.

I realized I'm not going to really like a guy ever again unless they can reach the "no matter what they do, I'd probably still love them anyways." That's reserved for the guys who've been there for me for so long and just know how to make me laugh and smile and open up to them.

There's only what. Two guys on that list? XD. I guess I was just hoping Boots would be the 3rd. Oh well.

You probably want to know who they are, huh?

Michael & Yang. Yang more, but Michael's up there. Yang is the best big brother out there; he listens to me when I'm a bitch, and I feel like I've known him forever. If I could have one of my friends be part of my family, it'd be Yang. Because I love him too much :P.

Michael, he's just a giant goofball who knows how to make me smile and laugh and is just plain cool. Sorta. Kinda.... Haha. XD

I love all my girlfriends (or 90 percent of them... lol JK :D) But those two are the only guys that they'd probably have to murder someone for me to stay mad at them. But that depends on the person.

Welp. There's my amazing discovery. I know. I'm really odd and I think things thru a liiiittle too much. XD

9/27/08

9/25/08

Bitchy rant ahead

Lolol. Boys are so stupid. Seriously, the drama going on with Jen and all that, wow. Men are complete fail.

So I have this guy friend. I like / liked him, told him, and he rejected me. I was okay with that. But then I started to piece things together. How he had lied to my face about him liking another girl even though I was considered one of his "best friends"

Wow. What. Complete. Bullshit.

I mean what kind of friend am I that you have to LIE to me. Sure. I get it. You don't like talking about personal things. But if you bring something up on your own FUCKING ACCORD, don't lie straight to my face.

What the fuck man? I thought we had a good friendship. But now to think all this time you were lying to my face? That you looked me STRAIGHT IN THE FACE and lied?!

Fucking Bitch. You deserve a fine ass kicking. And you also don't deserve to be my friend after all the bullshit you've put me through because you felt "guilty" or you were too "naive".

Fuck off. Seriously. If that's the way it's going to be. I don't want to be your friend. Never again.

People are so. Freaking. Stupid. I'm sick of all the bullshit. Why can't people just tell the fucking TRUTH. IS IT TOO FUCKING HARD NOT TO LIE TO YOUR FRIEND?!

He said he thought I was one of his best friends. And I fell for it. Wow. I'm such a fucking idiot.

Why do I even bother trusting people. If my trust is going to be wasted on slime like him, then that's it. I hope your happy.

I will never open my heart to anyone again. Never.

9/22/08

I am so done.

I am so done.
I tried. But it availed to nothing.
We could have been good friends you know. We were good friends.

But I let my feelings get in the way, and you let your inability to OPEN your eyes get in the way.
You are not worth my time anymore. I'm so sorry to say that.

There. No more of that. He is gone. I am free.

I have SUCH potential to be an A class Bitch it makes me laugh. Sure I don't have the means, or the gadgets or anything. But I am MEAN when it comes down to it.

But I'm too nerd orientated and easy going for that kind of stuff... But sometimes you just got to give life a little... push. ;]

9/21/08

What I miss about the 90's

Yesterday they cancelled Toonami.

WHAT. THE HELL.

Do they know how it was back in it's heyday? Back in the Genius of Cartoon Network?

Now I'm going to go in a Nostalgic state and talk about all the awesome stuff back in the day;

- Power Rangers
- Static Shock
- Batman Beyond
- Pokemon: Indigo League
- The first 3 seasons of Digimon
- ALL THAT
- The Amanda Show
- Rugrats (back in the DAY)
- MAGIC SCHOOL BUS FTW
- SAILOR MOON
- BEAST WARRRSSS
- Backstreet boys & N'sync
- Slip n slide
- Tamagachi's
- BEANIE BABIESS
- Furbies XD
- Playdough
- SAVED BY THE BELL OMG
- Macerena
- "Then why don't you marry it!"
- NINTENDO 64. OH M FREAKING G
- PINKY AND THE BRAIN
- DEXTER'S LABRATORY
- Time Squad (... even if it WAS made in 2001 XD)
- Powerpuff Girls
- Courage the Cowardly Dog (I so hated that show... XD)
- Cardcaptors

Oh my gosh. I MISS THE GOOD SHOWS. NUUUUUUUUUU Dx. IHRTJHERTGRTJHGHYTGKGHJTEH Dx

9/20/08

All was golden...

Song I'm listening to right now: When the Day Met the Night by Panic at the Disco
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoWEY2gohe8

It reminds me of the Beatles. So good. There's a beautiful Zutara video with this song. It so fits. Because we all know Zutara is what REALLY should of happened at the end of Avatar. ;D

-Sigh-

Someone else likes him.

I'm a terrible person. And I'm sick too. I'm so drained of everything. I don't know what to think. they tell me to give up, because it's good for me. I really want to.

But I can't.

It hurts so much thinking about him with someone else. But I know he will never look my way.

My head hurts just thinking about this. I don't want to. I wish I pull off a Davy Jones. Not only would be awesome, but then love wouldn't exist for me. ,_,

... Why yes, I just made a POTC reference XD

9/17/08

This was my post for yesterday :D

I should SO be studying for my test, tomorrow, but I'm not really sure how... anyways...

I'm reading this book, "Goy Crazy", And I'm just sitting there thinking...

"Dude. Real life isn't like this. At all."

I mean my life isn't filled with booze. Or total sluts. Or stuff you read and see.

Then again, I go to WVHS. It's kind of a given.... But, I mean, it's not really that intense. Not all teenagers aren't THAT bad. It gives us a bad name D:

I mean, my life isn't all BOYSBOYSBOYS. It's my friends. Swim. Grades. Family. Music.

It's depressing reading about these girls that all they can think about it Men. Pah, life isn't all the opposite sex. = 3 =;;

Now I'm going to look up random name meanings and how it's like the persons I refer too :]

Girl-friends:
Jessica ( English) ;This name was first used in this form by Shakespeare in his play 'The Merchant of Venice' (1596), where it belongs to the daughter of Shylock. Shakespeare probably based it on the biblical name Iscah which would have been spelled Jesca in his time. (Iscah: To Behold)
[...Ok that makes very little sense... XD]

Kathleen (Irish) ; Anglicized form of Caitlin ( each of the two, Or Hecate )
[ Hecate was the goddess associated with witchcraft, tombs, demons and the underworld. LO FREAKING L. She's not morbid enough for that. But she is crazy. In a good way. :]]

Deanna (English) ; Either a variant of Diana or a feminine form of Dean ( Diana; heavenly, divine or Greek god, Dean; Valley)
[ Well, Artemis is the goddess of the moon and night... It kind of fits in some strange way... o-o]

Nicole (French, English, Dutch) ; French feminine form of Nicholas ( victory of the people )
[Lol, that doesn't make much sense... But I still love her :P <3>

Jeana (English) ; Variant of Gina ( Queen )
[I ALWAY KNEW SHE'D RULE THE WORLD. XD]

Michelle (French, English) ; French feminine form of Michel ( who is like God?)
[... Uh?]

Tori (Spanish, Romanian, Ancient Roman) ; Victory
[Tori IS a victory. Her name fits her. :D]

Guyfriends:

Michael (English, German, Czech, Biblical) ; who is like God?
[Yeah, he WISHES]

Isaac (English, Jewish, Biblical) ; he laughs
[yeah, He laughs as he watches 6 year olds cry. Actually I think it kind of fits him]

Ben (English, Dutch) ; son of the south or son of the right hand.
[.... Uhhhhh... sure. Totally.]

more later. Buee

9/14/08

STORY OF MY LIFE.

MY LIFE SUCKS.

SO FREAKING BAD. IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY.

I. Really. Really. Don't. Want. To. Go. To. The. Next. Football. Game.

It's going to be fucking MISERABLE for me. Sure, I want to hang with my friends but THAT PERSON is going to be there, and I'm probably going to want scream and cry the moment I see her.

I've never met her before. But... argh.

MY LIFE SUCKS Do<

9/13/08

GOOOO PLANET!

Song of the post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKslHNyd9Tc
(Love Story by Taylor Swift)

Ugh. Yesterday was another football game, but I came home too late to get on and talk about it.
Also had a Biathalon today. I was LOADS of fun. Because we so didn't take it seriously. XD

Also finally finished reading The Host. EXCELLENT BOOK. I cried, I laughed, I loved it. Much better than the Twilight series. Like EXTREMELY BETTER.

I loved all the characters. Except Jared. I found him annoying. Jaime sounds so cute... D: <3
And Ian is such a sap.

... DARCY OWNS EDWARD CULLEN ANYDAY. AT LEAST DARCY HAS FLAWS D:<

... Dude I just realized I'm sort of kind of in a love triangle. WOW. I AM SO FREAKING STUPID. XDDDDD

Oh well. Life goes on. There are things to see, people to meet, and love to find. -sigh- I really do I find it at least. -shrugs-

Female Survey

Does your myspace password have to do with a boy? ... NOOOOO MYSPACEEEEE Dx
What's one thing a guy can do to make you like them? Make me laugh.
Small or big purses? .... MESSANGER BAGS
Do you sleep with your bra on? awkward much?
Do you enjoy drama? I love to watch it. I know. I'm a terrible person.
Do you stay friends with your ex's? I've never had an ex! >D
Did you dress up on Halloween? Hellz yes.
Do you call anybody by their last name? YES. XD
Do you wear makeup? Hellz No.
Can you put on mascara without opening your mouth? ... Definetly not?
Have you ever cooked food for a guy? Other than my brother? XD
Have you ever been called a bad influence? ... Yeah, I probably am >->
Have you ever broken a guy's heart? I'd never know. XD
Eyeliner or mascara? ......... Uh.
Heels or flats? SKATER SHOES
Skirts or jeans? Jeans.
Heels or sneakers? Sneakers.
Straight or curly hair? Straight.
Hoops or dangling earrings? BARE 8D
Do you prefer light or dark haired guys?.... I don't know. o_e;
Do you have a best friend? Sure.
What do you think about the person you like? He's a total idiot, but I love (platonically or more, I'm not sure) him anyways.
Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery? Hellz NO.
Do you like your life? Not at the moment. But it's alright.
Ever walked into the guy's bathroom? No. XD
Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on? ... Yes. XD
Ever slapped a guy in the face? YES. >D
Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? Yes.
Have you ever not been able to get someone off of your mind? YES. YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
Do you ever wish you were famous? Not really.

IN A BOY:
Cowboy or gangsta? ... GEEK >D
Preppy or Punk/Goth? GEEK >D
Contacts or Glasses? I don't care.
Good cook or took you out a lot? Cook. Because I can't XD
Funny or Serious? Funny.
Cute or Hot? ... I don't care. Because if he's too cute, I'll tease him too much, and if he's too hot, I'd have to punch him in the face.
Long or short hair? Shortish hair.
Smoker or non-smoker? SAVE THE PLANET.

9/11/08

Interesting

It's kind of funny when people are so fake.

Back in the day, I was a conformist too. Then things happened, and here I am now. A total Bitch. I used to be so nice too... XDDD

Ah, I guess I decided to be myself. It's tiring being someone your not. Usually I'm quiet around people I'm not comfortable with, because I don't have anything to say. I mean, I'm some what better at it, but I act like a bitch because well, I don't want to deal with you. Cause alot of high schoolers are total dumb heads :D

When I'm with my friends... well uh. I'm really weird. I mean, Seriously. XD
I'm a weird kid. I enjoy things 5 year olds like, I play tedious games over and over again, I sing all the time, I say honest yet odd things...

... HEY YOU COULD FIT A DEAD BODY IN THERE! :D

XD;

I am proud of my strangeness :D. It makes me unique. Even though I'm not interesting... Lol.... XD

9/10/08

HRTUHERKTJLKERT :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sl4uhCR-GHc
^ Go listen to it. It's amazingly awesome :D.

I`M THE SHIT!
Name - Hoshi
DOB - 9/4
Location - Somewhere between dreams and reality.
School - WVHS
Schedule - Chem, AP Physics, Lunch, Spanish, AP Us History / Hon. American Lit
Shoe size - 7 1/2 to 8
Pants size - 6/7
Shirt size - I like medium and Large, but I could probably fit into a small
Hair color - brown
Eye color - brown
Skin color - tan
Most prized possession(s) - My buddies
Fears - Handling Fire & Knives, Lightning
Favorite bands and artists - Paramore, Fall Out Boy
Favorite hangout - park

THIS WILL ONLY GO ON MY BODY!
Describe your favorite outfit- Baggy shirt, necklace, pe shorts. (... WOW)
Your favorite shirt message - Either "Love Hurts" or "I'm not with stupid anymore"
Where do you get most of your clothes from? - Hot Topic
What is the brand of your favorite pair of jeans? - ... PANTS.
Describe the color of the wash - whu?
What is the color of your favorite shirt? - I tend to like monochrome shirts
What does it say? -
Do you like wearing belts? - no
What belt is your favorite? -
What kind of jewelry do you normally wear? - A necklace
Where did you get them from? - Everywhere
What are your favorite pair of earrings? - I don't have pierced ears....
Do you like shorts or mini skirts better? - shorts
Describe your favorite pair of shoes - My obnoxiously red sandals
What store did you get them from? - I don't even know

WHERE IS THIS BEAUTIFUL GUY?
Hair color you like on opposite sex - Brunette
What kind of haircut would he have? - Sort of Short...?
Eye color - Goregeous blue eyes.... -heart melts to butter-
Should he be hairy? - .... errr...
Would he have long eyelashes?- Lol, I don't care
Should he have the same taste in music as you? - Sure?
Are you looking for a twin or someone to balance you?- Just someone who makes me happy...
Do you like those hard to get bad boys or those sweet good guys? - Just someone who makes me happy...
Would you rather have him musically inclined or poetic writer? - Music
Could he tell you perverted jokes? - If I'm in the mood for them.
If both of you get into a fight, do you want him to immediately try to work it out or give you room to breathe? - Give me some room, but tries to work it out. It's hard to explain.

HOW I MAKE MYSELF BEAUTIFUL!
Do you do your hair or make up first?- ... Hair. Because I don't do Makeup :P
What shampoo and conditioner do you use? - Stuff from Bath & Body works or special swim shampoo... >_>
Brand of your favorite make up product - ... UH. I don't own any.
What make up goes on first? -
What goes on last? -
If you use cover- up or foundation what is the name of the color on that product? -
If you had to get a haircut now, what would you ask for? - Boy cut.
If you had to dye your hair now, what color would you get? - Brownish Red.
Ever thought of getting permanent make up? -
What body part do you need to work on the most? - Arms. And Abs. >_<;
What kind of plastic surgery would you get? - I like myself the way I am.
Come on now! You probably don’t need make-up or anything! Would you consider yourself beautiful?- I don't wear Makeup :P.

WHOA! YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT?
Are you a virgin? - Yes.
Do you like perverted jokes? - Depends.
Do you know your bases? - Eh?
Ever gave a hand job? - Eh??
To who? -
Ever been "explored" down there? - Eh???
How did you like it? -
What was the biggest you seen? (As in…. you know) - Ehh?????
What is your favorite position? - Ehhhhh????
For virgins, which position looks fun? - Ehhhhh?
What food would you consider sexy? - Ehhhhh???????
Do guys like your chest or butt better? - Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh?????
Describe your most kinky fantasy - Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?????!!

WHAT YOU DIDN`T GET TO KNOW ABOUT ME!
Who are your best friends? - Nicole & Jessica Lon
Describe your perfect sundae - Chocolate ice cream & Hot fudge
What’s fun to do around your town? - Go to the park and hang out in the shopping center near WV
Do you workout? - definetly.
Describe your body type - Slim, but athletic.
Do you have any siblings? - Yes.
If yes, names and ages?- Raymond.
If no, are you happy being the only child? -
What is your favorite animal? - Don't have one
What kind of computer do you have? - Laptop
How do you say good-bye? - byeee
Don't you hate good ending? - wuh?
Are you still bored? - I guess?
Time finished - 8:32

9/8/08

Disappear

I feel like shooting myself in the head. I find myself thinking about HIM, and I want bang my head against the table, and start screaming "NARGLES" on the top of my lungs.

I feel so guilty, you know? Liking some guy who's totally head over heels over someone else. I'm a terrible terrible person who deserves to disappear. I want to scream so badly, just run out of class, run into the quad and scream so I can't hear my own stupid thought.

I can't escape it, no matter how loud I blast my music, no matter how much I pray and wish for him just to disappear from my mind, it doesn't work. I'm a fucking idiot. Idiot, idiot, idiot, IDIOT.
I keep trying to put together a heart, but everytime I pick up some sharp piece, and I get hurt. There's giant gashes all around my hands, I have to wear gloves just to try to assemble it.

They don't know what goes through my mind. How frustrated I am with myself. I haven't learned at all, not since freshman year. Don't give your heart away so easily, it'll just be broken all over again. But I always find myself hoping so foolishly.

I'm such a fucking idiot. I think I should just disappear.

... No I am not being suicidal. >->

9/7/08

Haaa....

NARGLES. FREAKING NARGLES.

People seem to always forget one thing.
I'm NOT like other girls.
I never have. Never will.

I don't care WHO it is. Even if I'm head over heels in love with him, I would never say yes. If someone asked me out.

I'm not worth the trouble. I'm an emotional mess who does all the wrong things and has no self esteem. I'm pretty convinced that no one will ever convince me that I'm not.

That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like HELL. No one knows how much, how happy I am even at the THOUGHT of it. But they don't know how much it kills me, knowing how sad I would make them. So I tape my thoughts shut, cover my ears, close my eyes, and hide in the dark.

I think I'm going to bring a roll of tape to school tomorrow. So I can tape my mouth shut. ._.

9/6/08

woooha

DUDE. WE ARE UNDEFEATED! WOOOOOOOOO.

First home football game of the year. We ROCKED. YEAH BABEH.

Me, Nicole, Ai, Tsuki, Veggie, Neko & her BF, RJ, Dale, Risu and thatoneguy were all sitting next to the band. They were AMAZING (but not as good as last year.... >_<;).

The Drum majors are pretty good this year. Nice conducting. The band just... lacks something. I don't know.

... yeah I'm going nao.

9/3/08

Too much to learn

DON'T keep asking me if I'm alright.
I was fucking FINE til you asked.

You just don't seem to get it. Typical. You're so oblivious to the things around you, it's sad. I think you've been watching too many movies, and paid too little attention to your "buddy".

It makes me so sick. You pity me. Fucking feel sorry? Oh shut the hell up. You should know me better than that. I don't care about rejection anymore. I already knew it was coming from a mile away. It's the chiche, you know? Best friend who's a girl lives far away... HM. YOUR SO NOT IN LOVE WITH HER. Geez, and people think reading too much can be BAD...

But to feel SORRY for me afterwards. To think I'm going to instantly FORGIVE you on how TERRIBLY you handled it? NOT LIKELY.

You need to learn a helluva lot. Because you ain't gonna get no girl like that. Which is completely unexceptable. Because I get 5 bucks if your first girlfriend is in band. XD

There are SO many things you need to learn. And I'm afraid your too wrapped up in all the wrong things that you'll never learn them.

So I tip my hat, jump on the train, and ride off into the sunset.

9/1/08

aha.

3 days. 3 DAAYYSSSS. HOLY SHIT.

Life kind of sucks right now, but oh well. It'll get over itself.

... Yeah I have nothing to say... >_>;

Delicious Ambiguity