<3

In response to Tori's post; I know how you feel.
I'd also like to be asked out to dances for the sake of me, or have a boyfriend. I'd like to be the one that turns heads in the crowd, but sometimes I can't bring myself to shout. I'd like my mother to give me an actual COMPLIMENT; not more criticism of everything I do & just give me more things to think about. I'd like to see the world, but I know there are things I need to deal with at home. I want amazing grades, but I just don't. I want people to say I can sing well, but I of all people know I can't. I want a dog, but I know I can't get one until I have the time. And there's so much to think about in the future, I just want to scream.

Sometimes, it really makes me want to break down into tears. That was freshman year.

I mean, it's not like I've changed alot. I've just decided I want to be happy.

Most of my guy friends just see me as one of the guys. I don't blame, I kind of am in a way. Sometimes they treat me like a girl, most of the times they don't. But I've decided no one's opinion matters but mine. That may sound really selfish, but hey. It's so much easier to be happy that way.

Another thing that finally hit me. I don't think I ever liked Boots.

I had hope that I'd be able to, that he'd be someone I could give my heart to, or earn a place in the "guys I'll luffle forever and forever."

Well. We know how that turned out.

I realized I'm not going to really like a guy ever again unless they can reach the "no matter what they do, I'd probably still love them anyways." That's reserved for the guys who've been there for me for so long and just know how to make me laugh and smile and open up to them.

There's only what. Two guys on that list? XD. I guess I was just hoping Boots would be the 3rd. Oh well.

You probably want to know who they are, huh?

Michael & Yang. Yang more, but Michael's up there. Yang is the best big brother out there; he listens to me when I'm a bitch, and I feel like I've known him forever. If I could have one of my friends be part of my family, it'd be Yang. Because I love him too much :P.

Michael, he's just a giant goofball who knows how to make me smile and laugh and is just plain cool. Sorta. Kinda.... Haha. XD

I love all my girlfriends (or 90 percent of them... lol JK :D) But those two are the only guys that they'd probably have to murder someone for me to stay mad at them. But that depends on the person.

Welp. There's my amazing discovery. I know. I'm really odd and I think things thru a liiiittle too much. XD