Confessions.

Confession #1: I really do think that Cthulhu plushie you let me borrow is adorable. Even though the rest of my family thinks it isn't.
Confession #2: I hit you a lot because you say your ok with it. And I'm stressed out alot.
Confession #3: The ring you gave me is on my finger right now. It's far too big for any of my fingers, but I'm afraid if I take it off, I'll lose it.
Confession #4: I play with the ring on my hand alot. It reminds me of you.
Confession #5: Sometimes I'll be sitting by myself and it feels empty because your not there too.
Confession #6: When you were texting me and then stopped, I shrugged it off. When you texted me back an hour later, saying you'd fallen asleep mid text, I laughed. It's ok. I didn't care.
Confession #7: I feel bad for making you walk back with me everyday.
Confession #8: But it makes me happy that your willing to do so.
Confession #9: Sometimes when I say I hate you, I'm scared you'll take me seriously.
Confession #10: Because I really don't. You're like my best friend.
Confession #11: I talked alot about you to my family. I couldn't help it. I hang out with you all the time.
Confession #12: I only went back so I could say bye to you again.
Confession #13: I want to believe what everyone says. That you really do like me.
Confession #14: But I don't know how to trust things like that anymore.
Confession #15: I honestly can't believe you would though.
Confession #16: Even if you spelled it out to me. I might just run away.
Confession #17: I'm scared.
Confession #18: Because I really do care about you.
Confession #19: Because when I say 'I hate you' or 'I don't like you', it's not true.
Confession #20: It's not true at all.

Again I'm going to run away.
I'm sorry.

Usually I can pretend. I can pretend I don't know anything. I can remain blissfully oblivious. I can wipe out my suspicions of any romantic connections.

Times like this, it gets to be too much.
I don't know how to feel. I'm scared. I'm running away. Again.

I need time. I need time to think. I need to get away from you.
Maybe I'll figure it out then.
Or you'll get tired of me and go away.

Yes. Go away.
I can't deal with this anymore. I'm broken