My thoughts you can't decode...

Is it weird for the me to wish that I ever fall in love, I want him to be one of my best friends?

Because I want someone who I trust. Who I can tell everything, and they won't think any less of me. Someone who will sit outside with me and watch the stars. Who is as proud of their heritage as I am. Who just brings the widest smile to my face, who I'd want to be perfect for, even though we both know he doesn't care.

Is that weird of me? Or hopeless of me?

I don't know.

I guess that's why it's taking me forever to get over... that guy. Because he was my friend. I think we were close. I don't even know, maybe he was playing me, maybe I was playing myself, but in the end, he decided my friendship wasn't worth keeping.

I'm stranded. People keep telling me something and then another and maybe then nothing. They give me half of the story and expect me to understand. It's getting me really pissy, to the point where my demons are getting restless. I've imagined killing several people vividly in the past 2 days. And the thing is, I didn't find it very disturbing. ._.;

It's to the point I'm starting to distance myself from people, and my annoyance levels are skyrocketing. I really feel like I can only tell one person everything without anything being judged, who will just listen.

Plus the fact the other person I usually confine is the one teasing me (I hope not intentionally) with all these things they know and I don't. It's making me very irritable towards her, and I don't like that.

... oh well. ^^;