Reality

I'm fading in and out of "reality" nowadays.

I mean now.. Saturday seems like a dream. I'm back to this same monotonous routine of school. I want something different and new. I just... I hate this normality. I'm so annoyed with everyday the same thing.

Maybe that's why I can't stand thinking of working in a cubicle. I need air. I need to be free. I want to go somewhere amazing. Where everyday is a new adventure. Filled with danger and excitement.

Maybe I should be "content" with normality. I know I should. But I'm an idealist, not a realist.

But being an idealist, I've still learned not to expect the impossible: That no one will fall in love with me.

And I don't really care. I'm cruel, stubborn, scheming, a cry baby, easily confused, clumsy, and about a hundred other faults. Everyone wants perfection. I want out. What good is perfection if I can't be my ol pimple faced self? Why turn into a Barbie doll when being who I am is so much more enjoyable?

I have no expectations of anyone falling in love with me. (Because I know it's nigh impossible). If they do, fine whatever. It's better to give than receive. And I will give love and admiration to everyone I think deserves it.

Because in reality, I know I don't deserve any. Cause someday they're hearts will be broken when I'm gone