Stuff has happened.

So I was reading X/1999 in the library. And gah, the art style was so obnoxious. Ughhhh.

But when it gets better, It drives you NUTS that they never finished the series. The characters are so delightfully twisted and gothic in an odd sci fi setting. I enjoy alot of the characters in the series. In my point of view, it's one of my favorite works of CLAMP and one of their most intersting.

They have such odd relationships in x/1999 though. Sorata and Arashi are SO FREAKIGN CUTE YOU WANT TO SCREAM. But Nekoi and the one Earth Dragon she loves? He's so... OLD. She's like 15. It's so freaky, It kind of weirds me out. Subara And Seishiro...oh dear where do I begin? Their relationship is so... TWISTED. It hurts you head if you think too hard about it.

Alot of the characters are terribly tragic. My favorite is Nataku though... His character is so freaking sad, but I adore him. If you get a chance, go read it. Even though if you do, BRING LOTS OF TISSUE. And there's MASSIVE amounts of gore, so be careful reading it. >__<;

It's weird when you look back and find out about things you never knew about. It sort of twists your good memories with confusion. This is why ignorance is bliss.

...

So I found out my grandpa died yesterday.

I.... didn't know him well. I only remember seeing him once. Last summer. He was so frail, so old. He owned a piece of land that was used as a junkyard. Not spoiled stuff, like... metal. It was so beautiful in it's own way... you see all these military stuff; ammo boxes, a giant orange overland train, military vehicles... All overgrown with these beautiful flowers.

He always had to stay in his shack. I remember picking him flowers and putting them by his bed everyday since he couldn't go outside and see them. And I even pressed a flower for him... so when winter came, he'd still remember the flowers.

Dad used to tell me how he and my great uncle Joe were train hoppers during the great depression, that he was a cook in WW2 and participated in the Battle of the Bulge... So many interesting things... I wonder if he still thought about them, even as old as he was.

I hope he wasn't in pain. I hope he thought of me at least once. I worried so much... he was going to be alone in his shack for the Alaskan winter... but he moved down to Idaho to live with Auntie Charlotte. I hope he got to see the flowers bloom before he...

I wish I had known him better. I wish I knew more about him, except for the few precious stories my dad told me, and the few days I spent with him in Alaska. I hope he wasn't lonely when he passed. No one should be alone when they're...

He was an army veteran. Dad said he was a cranky, mean person who was racist and sexist... but to me, he was still my grandpa. All of that didn't matter.

Dad says they won't have a ceremony for him. He just wants to be cremated, sealed in an ammo box, buried along the Alaskan highway. In a way, I think it suits him. I wonder what they will do with his junkyard. I hope they don't get rid of all the flowers.... and the raspberries....

.... I don't know why I couldn't tell anyone about this. I guess, I just didn't want to cry in front of them. I barely knew my grandpa, but... I still wish I got to see him one more time.

I just hope... he got to see the flowers bloom one more time....