Never.

I have never. Never been so scared of myself. Of what's happening to me.

I'm afraid he might already have my heart. Even though I don't know him. Even though I know there's no chance because he's in a totally different league and I'm too chicken to do anything.

But I keep hoping and hoping. And remembering that stupid grin on your face.

I have never been this afraid of myself.

And that's why I hate you. Because you make it so I don't recognize myself anymore.